In the new movie, Personal Shopper, a confused young woman wants to be someone else. In her desperate search for ‘an identity’, the world she (barely) inhabits turns into a surreal maze of disjointed and meaningless events. The root meaning of identity is idem ‘same.’ ORIGIN late 16th cent. (in the sense [quality of being identical] ): from late Latin identitas, from Latin idem ‘same.’ … Continue reading The futile search for identity.
I find order comforting. To make my bed in the morning, to not leave clothes on the floor, to put things where they ‘belong.’ When I used to think about the word ‘order’, I associated it with something negative, like a military drill. Keeping things in order meant bowing down to someone else’s rules. But this is changing. When I bought my current condo, it … Continue reading The significance of personal things.
The lone life. When do I give in to it fully, completely and irrevocably? This is the only life I have ever known, yet I try to keep it at a distance, as if the way I spend my days is something I can change. The nagging little thoughts about ‘being more motivated, getting out of the house, taking a trip,’ ping me all day … Continue reading Attention is everything.
It is only the personal that matters. If I had been attuned to my experience, I would have known this. But I was taught to deny my feelings and to mistrust my intelligence. When I was born, I lived in a state of ‘knowing’, but this state was stolen from me, ripped from my consciousness. Every original thought was censored and criticized. My ‘knowing’ was … Continue reading Inner rulership.
I am sometimes overwhelmed in a mystical kind of way by the inner potential of my life. I have 64 years of raw material to sift through, organize, reflect on and be amazed by. I recently read that Germaine Greer gave all her papers to a university in Australia. Researchers are going through her material and books may be written from what they find. Gloria … Continue reading Solitarius.
I asked myself the question this morning, “Why am I so resistant to just doing things?” One answer that arose was that this is an extroverted way of thinking. Extrovert – an ‘outgoing’ person; a person predominantly concerned with external things or objective considerations. Introvert – a ‘self-centered’ person; a person predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things. ORIGIN … Continue reading What is inner action?
In my last few posts, I have disparaged the word ‘love,’ in part because it often implies sacrifice, self-denial and suffering. It is also such a generic word now that, for me, it has lost all meaning. As I write, I often look up common words in the dictionary because I question whether or not I really know what something means. Increasingly, I am intrigued … Continue reading Different.