This morning it suddenly occurred to me that when a relationship ends, it ends for a good reason. My habitual response has been to think I did something terribly wrong, and that whatever happened was probably my fault. A few days ago, I started changing my attitude on this. If a relationship ends, for whatever reason, perhaps that particular person no longer needs to be in my life. My former housemate held the view that while some relationships can be repaired, others cannot. This helped me put relationships into a more fact-based, rather than emotion-based, context.
If I see myself as an evolving being, then I can let people and events flow through me. If a sudden burst of intense energy leads to a confrontation, I have the choice of holding on to whatever that burst of energy was about, and dwelling on it – or I can learn something from it, and then integrate what I learned into my evolving self.
It’s really a matter of viewing myself as solid or fluid. If I view myself as solid, then my experiences will harden into bricks in a psychological edifice. If I view myself as fluid, then the experiences will eventually float away on the river of time. Aging has become the filter through which I make these two choices. I ask myself, “Does this stay because it has value, or is this something I can let go of to lighten my load.”
While some people find comfort in accumulating, I find comfort in discarding. As I go down this path, I keep releasing both material things and mind things. I often reflect on the millions of people who live on almost nothing. Up until I was thirty, I did this too. All of my possessions could fit into my Volkswagen Beetle. I travelled light.
Metaphysical authors have talked about an expansion of light in the world. In a very subtle way, I am noticing that I gravitate towards people who embody and radiate more light. Rather than looking for people with similar interests, or for “friends,” I seem to be seeking out people who demonstrate, through their actions, the qualities of maturity and wisdom.
The houses I see in design magazines are open, spacious and full of light. When I look for a place to live, it has to be filled with light. The house I am in now has more light than any place I have ever been in.
Through writing this post, I have found something that will guide me in the future. I am looking for light, in whatever form I can find it. One of my favorite movies was, The Unbearable Lightness of Being. I would like to change this in my own life to, The Liberating Lightness of Being.